I DIY'd my own Christmas tree
- Published: 18 December 2018
- JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461
What the heck did you just freaking say about me, you little nut? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing but another target. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my freaking words. You think you can get away with saying that shizzle to me over the InTErNet? Think again, mother trucker. As we speak, I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're dead kiddo. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over 700 different ways, and that's just with my bare hands alone. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable buttocks off the face of this godforsaken continent, you little stinker. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fudging tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you are paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will poop fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're freaking dead, kiddo.
Current sub count: 1, 613, 783
Shoutout of the week: Today, I would like to say thanks to the first person who sent me a P.O. box gift. Her name is @jmvople123 on instagram and she sent me some lovely iPhone lenses. I particularly love the fisheye one because it fulfills my squid fantasies. Anyways, I just thought it was very sweet and I felt very flattered. Once again, thank you Jackie!
Love you all,