7 Signs of Narcissistic Parenting

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  • Published: 31 March 2019
  • Narcissism originates from the Greek mythology, where the young Narcissus fell in love with his own self reflection in a pool. The term was later popularized by the doctor Sigmund Freud. The American psychiatric association (APA) has included narcissistic personality disorder, as part of the DSM since 1968. Do you suspect yourself growing with a narcissistic parent? Is your mother or father narcissistic? Are you a children of a narcissist? If so, then you might want to watch this video to see if you relate to the signs.

    You can learn more about NPD here:
    psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder

    Or watch one of our old videos on this topic:
    stms.pro/video/8kPIzRdz6XI/video.html

    Script Writer: Catherine Huang
    Script Editor: Steven Wu
    VO: Yumika Tsui - instagram.com/xo.yumii/
    Animator: Naye Meneses
    YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

    #narcissism #narcissisticparenting

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    Thanks again! If there are any other topics you'd like to see on this heavy subject, do let us know. All the proceed goes back towards the team and making more content in a sustainable way.

    References:

    Fabrizio, K. (2018). 5 (Subtle) Signs Your Mother Is a Covert Narcissist. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 31, 2018,

    Malkin, C. (2016, September 30). 8 Common, Long-Lasting Effects of Narcissistic Parenting. Psychology Today. Retrieved October 31, 2018.

    Ni, P. (2016, February 28). 10 Signs of a Narcissistic Parent. Psychology Today. Retrieved October 31, 2018.

    Steber, C. (2017, July 13). 13 Subtle Signs Your Mom Is Probably A Narcissist. Bustle. Retrieved October 31, 2018.

Comments • 1 512

  • Psych2Go
    Psych2Go   5 months back

    What was your best childhood memory? My was playing in the basketball court where I used to live. Comment yours.

    • Just Another GachaTuber :P
      Just Another GachaTuber :P  2 days back

      When I finally did a summersalt

    • Ankit Agarwal
      Ankit Agarwal  2 weeks back

      Can you make a video which can help us with this issue?

    • Kailey Leppard
      Kailey Leppard  1 months back

      Thea Hartman, I'm so sorry I know how you feel my grand mother died from cancer and trust me it's normal to want your own space and get mad over not getting it your not a bad seed... for your aunt I don't know what to say about her I'm guessing she is in grief from the passage of your grandma but idk... hope this helped! ❤️😉

    • Thea Hartman
      Thea Hartman  1 months back

      Just being with my grandmother before the dementia killed her
      She would take me shopping and would buy me anything i want
      I'm just confused because now my aunt is trying to be my mom and I'm feeling like I'm being the bad seed because I get a bit fussy when I can't get my space

    • Kailey Leppard
      Kailey Leppard  1 months back

      Psych2Go, mine was when my mom and dad were fighting my grandmother took me and my little bro to the park...

  • lunarwavethekawaiipotato •-•

    Thanks for describing my mother!

    • jayson gary
      jayson gary  2 days back

      Yeah I care about what people about me to a certain degree.





      That degree is zero.

      • Sorry im not Alice
        Sorry im not Alice  2 days back

        my dad recently send me a gift for my birthday (even though he knows I don't want to have anything to do with him) and it was 3 shirts and a birthday card, I shit you not he wrote:
        "from the family
        call me"

        and that's everything, like he got me a gift and instantly told me what I have to do, what I like to say is that this man doesn't have feelings but he has money, because he doesn't understand feelings and money (and what people think about him) is the only thing he cares about

        • David Tichborne
          David Tichborne  3 days back

          all 7 of these were my parents

          • Cub3dGrafit3
            Cub3dGrafit3  4 days back

            When I lived with my family my dad would often say that I should be obedient to him for the sole reason that he is my father. As if being in a direct biological connection with him makes what he has to say that much more enlightening to me. I never chose my family or my father, they made the decision to have me so I have no responsibility to obey his every whim regardless of the potential value of it. Regardless of the reasoning I gave to him as to why I don’t want to obey him he would double down on the guilt, yelling and telling me of how rebellious I was even thought I was doing what was best for me. Because at the end of the day, no else knows what’s best for you or cares more about you than yourself.

            • Mary
              Mary  4 days back

              I don't agree that a parent is a narcissist if they go through their kid's room. After a certain age a parent shouldn't be throwing things away or rearranging things in their kids room, but when your child is too young to care or is leaving food around that they refuse to clean up and therefore could cause a roach or mouse problem, then going in and cleaning up is totally acceptable. Some might argue that they were able or would have maybe been able to prevent their teen's suicide or their teen commiting a mass school shooting if they had snooped through their room before hand.

              • Ant Gladman
                Ant Gladman  4 days back

                My mum has done this all my life, I hate her. She's made me so unwell

                • Sydney Johnson
                  Sydney Johnson  6 days back

                  Wow. My mom literally does all of this. It’s so refreshing to see that this is a disorder and it’s not normal. I just wish I knew what to do to set boundaries with her.

                  • Josee Noel
                    Josee Noel  7 days back

                    Mine was walking my cat, on a trail, near my home, sitting and absorbing nature. I still do this at 58. I put myself through college, as of course covert mom would never support that having given me the heave-hoe at 17 and became a Forest Technician, no small task in an old boys club! Thanks for asking.

                    • Johowiiezz
                      Johowiiezz  7 days back

                      Couple of months ago I went down to greet my dad who had just come home and to see how he was doing, but before I could ask him how he was, he asked me: "Sooo.. What have you done today? I bet nothing productive as usual. (I'm a freelance designer that is looking for fulltime jobs in the meantime.)
                      Before I could answer him he said: "Gosh, you seriously need to take a DNA test, cause you cant be my son. I dont get how someone can be so f*cking lazy!".

                      Reminder, all I wanted to do is to check how he was doing, and how his day was. Instead I got told that my dad does not want to believe I'm his son.

                      Idk, this might be just me who is stupid, but fuck it still hurts.

                      If anyone ever reads this, I just want to thank you! First time I told anyone about this, and it feels good to do so!

                      • Keandra Harrison
                        Keandra Harrison  1 weeks back

                        The true definition of conditional love! Anytime I go against one of my parents wishes; you would think I killed someone, and it's over the stupidest things sometimes.

                        • Swiggity Swag
                          Swiggity Swag  1 weeks back

                          My parents are wealthy but aren't satisfied. Now they want to get landlords of my multiple properties. I noticed now toxic rich people in my family are.

                          • broadway zjm
                            broadway zjm  2 weeks back

                            It hurts knowing that the people who you're supposed to trust, the people that supposedly care for you- don't actually love you and you aren't worth jack shit to them. Whenever I think of that I always break down crying.

                            • chow wow
                              chow wow  2 weeks back

                              Is "your mom demanding you to think of her in every action you do" included in the list?

                              • Skimmed Malk
                                Skimmed Malk  2 weeks back

                                Me, watching this video and relating to everything listed: Nani?! My feels!

                                • LUCKY Games
                                  LUCKY Games  2 weeks back

                                  They: threw away my stuff, moved my stuff, used gaslighting, used psychological attacks/mind games, poisoned me, woke me up at 6 on the weekends, they should die

                                  • Kawaii Kitty Kat
                                    Kawaii Kitty Kat  2 weeks back

                                    My stepmother and dad in a nutshell. They ruined me and my siblings lives what so ever

                                    • Bing Nova
                                      Bing Nova  2 weeks back

                                      I’m thirteen and I can’t do this! This is my dad to a T! I thought I could talk to mom about him but she turns around and tells dad! I can’t move out! His outbreaks are getting worse now that I’m finally standing up for myself! Or as he says “being an unappreciative spoiled brat!”
                                      *What do I do??*

                                      • Susan James
                                        Susan James  2 weeks back

                                        Why was this so triggering

                                        • Deniz B. O.
                                          Deniz B. O.  2 weeks back

                                          It's nice to know that I'm not the crazy one.

                                          • AuthenticGarbage
                                            AuthenticGarbage  2 weeks back

                                            I feel like I only watched this video because my mom is a narcissistic cunt

                                            • Steph V.D.
                                              Steph V.D.  2 weeks back

                                              This video reminds me of Gypsy Rose Blanchard. It describes her mother.

                                              • Micearemoose
                                                Micearemoose  2 weeks back

                                                This is literally mostly my mom and all of my dad, and my dad does stuff like drop things next to me and bends down to get them or goes up behind me when im bending down enough so when I move a little I bump into him. I might be overreacting about it tho but it happens almost every single time im around him and there isnt anyone by.

                                                • Cedric Beachy
                                                  Cedric Beachy  2 weeks back

                                                  My parents are almost perfect.🤔

                                                  • Mochii
                                                    Mochii  2 weeks back

                                                    *When you point a finger there’s 3 Pointing back at you.*

                                                    • Ham: Al the Government’s Pal

                                                      8. You clicked on this video.

                                                      • Ladaya Veloz
                                                        Ladaya Veloz  2 weeks back

                                                        I have a narcissistic parent. My mom. My mother gets defensive if someone points out something she did wrong. Just recently, (the other day) my mother started yelling at me and my little brother to clean and how we haven't been doing anything to clean our room. (Even though I cleaned up everything else in the entire house, including her room.) I snapped and started arguing with her when she came back into my room when I threw my fan since she made my brother cry. (I shouldn't have thrown the fan, I just let my anger get the best of me.) She ended up yelling and cursing at me because of it. Later after she calmed down, she asked, "Would you rather me yell at you or beat you?" I was furious at her question, because that shouldn't even be a question to ask your child- what type of abuse they'd rather receive. Me and my brother were sobbing messes, one because of my mom, and two, because I said I was going to move out because I couldn't deal with her or even her boyfriend's bullsh*t anymore. (Even her boyfriend is awful to us. He told my brother that if someone physically hurt him at school it's okay to hit them back. My brother is SIX. He's going to first grade. That isn't something to tell a 6 year old. And that's not even the worst thing he's done.) My mom also doesn't like me going out to places on my own because she always thinks someone is going to hurt me. I could want to go to the store down the road, but I can't go by myself without my phone and my guard ready because "Someone could come up and stab/kidnap/r*pe me." Crazy, but that was her excuse every time. I couldn't go to a friend's house because she thought my friends had male family living there who were pedophiles. (It was always just men, and I felt like she was extremely sexist, because I knew girls are capable of being pedophiles too, but she only had a problem with men, even if my friends reassured their male family members weren't those gross people.) I've had my whole life controlled by my mother, and even to this day, she still pulls the strings. But I'm leaving as soon as I can, because I know her actions aren't my problem, nor are they my fault. Narcissists are happiness vampires. Don't let them get to your happiness. Surround yourself with stability, love, support, and friends. Those are their weaknesses. They can't get to you if they can't use these things against you. (Ex: "How are you going to live on your own?" "What about company? Or are you gonna stay being alone in your little bubble?" "You won't be able to do it as easily as you think you can." "Who are you gonna fall back on? Cause it won't be me if you do leave.")

                                                        • Elijah La Rock
                                                          Elijah La Rock  2 weeks back

                                                          I always feel more like a Slave to two Slave owners who mentally rape me enough for them to get a privilege to steal my energy, They're ruining my life like they ruined my childhood.

                                                          • Lucky Lele
                                                            Lucky Lele  3 weeks back

                                                            I went through a year of hair school and when I graduated, my parents talked me out of getting my license. Now they want me to braid...from home.


                                                            No. Fuck off.

                                                            • James D
                                                              James D  3 weeks back

                                                              This video is generous with the word *parent*

                                                              *Parents* are supposed to *love* and *care* for their child, not *control* and *abuse*

                                                              • Lucianna Romeave
                                                                Lucianna Romeave  3 weeks back

                                                                My mother was trying to get me a car because I'm going to get my license soon. I told her I didn't want a new car because my dad would let me learn with his truck. My mom went off on me and made me feel bad for saying it...

                                                                • Lucianna Romeave
                                                                  Lucianna Romeave  3 weeks back

                                                                  @Lee Lee yeah, but then she started yelling at me "do you think I don't provide for you!" I just didn't want her to waste money on me...

                                                                  Then I got home and she slapped me. Then she said I was stupid and no matter how many A's I get in school I'm still stupid. But I've heard that too many times, so when I didn't respond and went numb she started hitting me on my arm being like "your so ungrateful, I give you everything and you don't even care. Do I have to take you to a therapist!"

                                                                • Lee Lee
                                                                  Lee Lee  3 weeks back

                                                                  Lol your mother seems nice wanting get you a car I see nothing wrong here just her being very nice

                                                              • katgk8660
                                                                katgk8660  3 weeks back

                                                                YuPppp!!... Sad to be 30 and still need this

                                                                • Fiodor El Gato
                                                                  Fiodor El Gato  3 weeks back

                                                                  I wish I could stand my ground and stop allowing my parent's behaviour to continue, but they threaten to kick me out of the house and to stop paying for my university degree every time I try. And I'm still financially dependent on them :(, and I can't tell anyone because everybody, including my family, believes they're wonderful people and role models. When I do tell them my mother is narcissistic and abusive, they think I'm simply a spoiled and lazy child.

                                                                  • Priscilla Pan
                                                                    Priscilla Pan  3 weeks back

                                                                    I’ve always known something was wrong with my parents even at a young age. I told them they act immature and like a kid when I’m supposed to be the kid. It’s ok for me to make mistakes because hello I’m a kid. But they always treated me like an adult even at age 7! I wasn’t allowed to cry or show emotions. Thankfully I never let them effect me. I always knew they was something wrong and I’m finally free now. I’ve been free for years and it feels so good making choices for myself because it makes me happy, NOT because my parents will be proud. Every choice I’ve made for years has been my own :) and guess what I’m doing great. Love to anyone who’s been abused similar and good luck.

                                                                    • bocholong jamir
                                                                      bocholong jamir  3 weeks back

                                                                      Yes and I am 1 of them being abused and used in childhood till now like a human toy . I wanna be free individual strong and independent with my parents being a narcissist and always taking the role of angelic parents disguised helpless beings God I cant take this anymore I wanna be free 😫as in going out with friends making love etc etc

                                                                      • Erica Neil
                                                                        Erica Neil  3 weeks back

                                                                        Recently reconnected with my narcissistic dad after he attacked me for moving schools (bullying) at 13 without telling him why. I’m really scared and don’t want to be alone with him but he keeps on setting up situations for me to be alone with him. I’m so scared!

                                                                        • Avery Mulford
                                                                          Avery Mulford  3 weeks back

                                                                          my mom hits a good bit of these points. she provides absolutely zero emotional support and whenever she does something selfish and i bring it up (even in a calm manner) she loses her mind and becomes FURIOUS. and none of my friends believe me because she acts like the best mother ever in front of everyone else and she constantly shoots down all of my ideas and opinions. she’s extremely close minded. i’m leaving for college in 3 weeks and i couldn’t be happier to get away. she even told me “good thing you’re moving out in three weeks” after a minor argument. i want to completely cut her out of my life but i don’t have the financial means to do so. i feel obligated to her because she pays for everything and usually has no problem buying things for me, as long as i follow her strict social rules such as: no piercings, no tattoos, no standing out too much - all of which i have and do. i want to cut her off but the very few times she is nice to me, i find myself feeling really bad for feeling this way. not sure how to feel and not sure how to cut her off without feeling bad about money

                                                                          • Avery Mulford
                                                                            Avery Mulford  3 weeks back

                                                                            also it may be wise to mention that when i got my first tattoo i came home and showed her and she got EXTREMELY stressed and upset. i felt horrible for even thinking about getting it, even thought it meant, and still does mean so much to me as it’s a tribute to my friend who passed away. if anyone who read this far is knowledgeable on the subject, does this sound like narcissism? or just a toxic parent?

                                                                          • Avery Mulford
                                                                            Avery Mulford  3 weeks back

                                                                            sorry for a long comment

                                                                        • SZ AMNESTY
                                                                          SZ AMNESTY  3 weeks back

                                                                          My mom would blame me for everything. If my brother makes a mess, I get yelled at, get on punishment and get everything took away from me.then whenever I try to tell my mom it’s not my fault,she yells and makes excuses of how I’m talking back when I’m trying to make a damn point.my dad on the other hand,I’m not able too see my dad that much but still,whenever he gets mad at my mom,I feel like he gets mad at me at the same time.thats why I’m always awkward around him.my mom would blame me over dumb stuff like if my siblings make a mess,I get blamed,if my sibling gets in a fight while I’m at someone’s house,I get blamed.

                                                                          • Sara Khaldi
                                                                            Sara Khaldi  3 weeks back

                                                                            Ugggghhh the parents sound nicer than mine were 😂 dressing their daughter up. I was lucky it my mom brushed my hair 😂

                                                                            • Limit Break
                                                                              Limit Break  4 weeks back

                                                                              fuck narcissist parents im gonna make my own decisions damn them useless pitiful bastards who want to ruin their childs dreams and everything
                                                                              being independent with plans are better than living with them

                                                                              • Mk.z
                                                                                Mk.z  4 weeks back

                                                                                I hate when in videos/ articles about people with hostile psychological disorders (child abusers, pedophiles, narcissists) people say 'that's exactly what they want'/'this is how they operate'/'this is their strategy'... These people don't operate by a textbook, nor have a clear goal in mind of what they want to 'program out into', its just the way things end up turning out as from their disorder on the way to their goals (abuse/ sex/ self gratification and increase of self worth through your achievement, all repressively to the before mentioned disorders).

                                                                                • Amethyst DaWolf
                                                                                  Amethyst DaWolf  4 weeks back

                                                                                  I wouldn't classify my mom as a narcissistic parent but MAN, no matter how logical my point in an argument is, she ends it by saying "dO iT bEcAuSe I sAiD sO" or "yOu're bEiNg sUcH a JeRk tO mE aNd YoU sHoUlD bE tHaNkFuL". And she always knows how to play the victim.

                                                                                  • Simone LewisFretz
                                                                                    Simone LewisFretz  4 weeks back

                                                                                    My dad's great, but my mom's narcissistic and manipulative.

                                                                                    • Bailey Kelley
                                                                                      Bailey Kelley  4 weeks back

                                                                                      "My age accounts for everything in a tribal sense you get your intelligence from me please show it" literal quote from my dad last night after I challenged his beliefs that all Muslims should die, and he decided to use the good old "I'm older than you so I know better" tactic. He very commonly tries to insult my intelligence by playing the age card. He tries so hard to completely discredit any opinions I form on my own. I'm 21 years old for fucks sake.

                                                                                      • ivanbarbosa81
                                                                                        ivanbarbosa81  1 months back

                                                                                        nice

                                                                                        • Jillian Smith
                                                                                          Jillian Smith  1 months back

                                                                                          Narcissists tend to buy really lousy presents.  Even if they cost a lot (and they may change price tags to make you think they were expensive) it's irrelevant.  It's usually nothing you ever wanted, and often something you actively don't want.  Ill-fitting clothing with no receipts, ugly things, cat figurines when you love dogs, food you're allergic to, stupid things, samples, re-gifts, 2nd hand sale things that were very cheap because damaged or dirty, things the N wanted to buy but got tired of...and then they expect full gratitude for their lousy gift.  And don't you dare give it away!  You have to keep, use, and honor it or they act really upset about it.

                                                                                          • • A M E L I A •
                                                                                            • A M E L I A •  1 months back

                                                                                            I think Ik ppl like this I’m not calling no names ..